The Blind Date.... Dun.. Dun... Dun...

I thought I would help all you married people out and let you in on a little secret... shhhhh. It's a very important secret as it will help in all future relationships with your single friends. Here it is......... Are you ready for it????? Okay so just because two people are single does NOT mean that they are compatible in any way, shape, or form. In fact if that is the only thing that you can think of that is a common denominator (I paid attention in math, well most of the time) between two people then my suggestion is DON'T SET THEM UP period...... I know you think that you are going to make the world a better place and make your single friends happy and everyone wants to be like the Matchmaker on Fiddler on the Roof but here is the deal you are not that cool. Sorry it had to be said.

I have been on PLENTY of blind dates and let me tell you I have stories that will leave you laughing so hard you are crying, but its not the time or place, and on all those dates I felt like my friends thought I was a huge weirdo because that is what they set me up with. I know you all are trying to help but to be honest it makes me have a bleaker outlook on life and I think I don't have chance of ever getting married. I mean if that is all that is out there are the 30 year olds still living in their parents basements and all they do all day is play video games when they are not working at the McDonalds or guys who wear shorts and socks that go up to there knees and vans slip ons and a shirts they painted in earlier that day or the weird guys that only talk about their Semi trucks and when your not talking about Trucks he doesn't talk and then he pulls out the horn not joking actually makes the horn noise while doing the motion of pulling the horn with his arm or they eat corn like a typwriter, you know like you did when you were a kid, and makes a huge mess and laughs really hard. It makes me want to give up on getting married and makes me even more content on being single.

So in my opinion it has the opposite effect so please for the love of everything that is holy stop trying to make the world a better place and quite thinking that they need to be in a relationship to be happy, another secret they are already happy, and let your poor single friends be single and find that person on their own. Unless, you have thought long and hard and can think of more than four (4) things in common between two people and one or the other is not a GOOBER than yes that might be okay, I said might. But if you can't and the only thing that they have in common is they are single don't do it. It never turns out okay and there will be awkwardness between you and your friend. Phew now I feel better about life :~)

Oh and P.S. I have had one good blind date. Nothing came of it which is perfectly fine but it was fun and I didn't feel awkward and the person was not a Goober. So props to Barbie who doesn't need my advice. She should get a gold star :~) Love ya

P.S.S. my friend Becca, by the way you get a gold star as well, came up with a great idea if you have a few single friends and would like to set up a party or a man schmorgesbord as she called it then yes that would be fine because we as single people still have a choice and if there are goobers there it doesn't matter cuz you are not on a date and everyone else is suffering.. It's true misery does love company.... Wait is that why you are setting me up on blind dates so I can be miserable like all you married people??? HMMMM